Sunday, February 19, 2012

2/17/2012

At some point, I had realized that you were no longer the girl I had fallen in love with. And slowly, I started to come to terms with it. We all grow. I admit, I am probably not the same kid you found yourself loving. For the better and for the worse. A part of me still ached for your care and your adoration, but each day, that piece grew smaller and smaller.

Along the way, I came to understand that I would never get from you the gratitude I felt I deserved. There wouldn't be attention paid to me, as I had done for you.

I had to come to accept that the girl I had known was gone. Erased and replaced, the consequences of too many heartbreaks, far too lonely for the girl I had loved. And despite all my attempts to stick around, to fix you, to be your knight in shining armor, you would never go back to that gracious girl. Realizing that I could always try and be there for you, but that I had to stop giving out piece of my heart to someone who would only toss them away. Someone who took me for granted. And it was blow after blow. Because soon after I recognized that I could no longer love you, I was forced to realize that I couldn't even consider you my best friend, not with the way you consistently treated me.

And as much as I could tell myself to accept it, and as much as it grew easier each day to live with that knowledge, I didn't know what do with that feeling. I couldn't help but feel regret over something that had so narrowly escaped my grasp.

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